It struck me, as I sat on the cement benches of the outdoor pavilion in Winterset's city park and gazed at 50 some-odd varyingly familliar noses, eyes, and hairlines, that there is something vaguely comforting in discovering family resemblances.  Perhaps that is part of what brings us from the far reaches of the country to a tiny spot nonexistent on any map.  The sense of belonging.  One of the first questions we ask about life is "Where did I come from?".  In obliging response, our red-faced parents usually attempt to convey the wonders of childbirth.  I propose that we as parents have failed to address the real confusion.  Maybe what our children are really asking but unable to express is something more.  And perhaps that is what makes genealogy so intriguing.  Learning our ancestors' pasts gives us a sense of continuity for our future.  And a sense of obligation and drive to "carry on."

It is so important to nurture these ties.  As the notion of extended family has all but been lost during the last century, what we have substituted in many cases is a disjointed set of short-lived alliances.  How unfortunate for us!  Even as recently as my parents' childhood, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents were readily available and involved in daily activities.  Now many of us, myself included, only see even our own parents on special occasions.  How can we expect our children to understand their family heritage?  I recently read a telling quote attributed to Elizabeth Janeway, "...family ties, the duty owed to an ideal - in our time, these obligations seem to have lost their force as motivators and connectors."  As I see it, we still have a choice in the matter.

The Pitzer clan is luckier than most in that we have elder members who remember the days of the extended family.  I believe that it is our responsibility and charge now as the next generation of (gulp!) adults to foster this natural bond and preserve it for our children and beyond.  I could so relate to Mark when he described his hesitation and slight apprehension at the thought of being amongst those who "knew us when we were THIS big".  I, personally, can think of quite a few things that could possibly come back to haunt me in a situation such as a family reuinion.  But I digress.  We will always be children in our parents' eyes.  And I'm not unhappy about that.  There is a sense of relief in being with those who have known you all your life.  While we may have to be extra convincing to prove our grown-up-edness, we are also loved unconditionally.  We (the general "we")  need more of that.  Although we are geographically dispersed, we have a few tools that have been made available to us in the past few years that make the distances seem to shrink.  Let's take advantage of them.  

I want to express my heartfelt appreciation to George and Billie for their undying efforts to put our gathering together and to Aunt Irene for her gracious donation of many years of pre-internet research.  These have provided motivation and connection that will not be lost.  

Love to you all.

Gigi

henry@pitzeronline.com

Hello all,
I was sick not to have been able to attend the gathering of the clan this past Memorial Day. Unfortunately, tragedy struck a bit closer to home. Perhaps there will be another opportunity to meet so many of you still unknown to me. I grew up in an arm of the family that had little contact with the rest. One of the great faults in our transient society is the lack of extended family. For myself, what has filled that space is a sense of community from having lived in one area for 30 years.

Still, the opportunity to meet and share with my "Pitzer" family seemed, at this time in my life, a rare and enticing opportunity. Where have all these relatives been for so much of my life?

Except for a few distant meetings with Irene and Emory, I had no awareness that my father's family existed. Then, on the occasion of an aunt's 90th birthday in Indianapolis, my father, Vaughn, and I retraced some of his early memories on a trip through Iowa. We met people who knew both my mother and him, people who had recollections of family members, people who had spent entire lives in the small towns of Iowa.

I revisited the smells of "ham loaf" in small restaurants, smells that had sent trembling and fear through me as a child but that, as an adult, triggered memories of meals at the family table so many years ago. I appreciated the beauty and solidness of small town Iowa, towns like Vail, Shenandoah, Red Oak. And I spent a wonderful week with my father, something we have all to rarely accomplished.
The trip concluded for me with a spin through Kansas, an evening with Irene, a stop in Pittsburgh with Billy and George, and finally, a visit with Marjorie and Emory. Something within me was awakened on this trip, a sense that I shared a past with a much larger group. I appreciate all of the work that has been done on behalf of all of us by those in touch with our roots, and I hope again to have an opportunity to meet those of you I share family with.

Ciao!
Steve

jitterbug@surfnetusa.com